stages of grief
by Alstroe
Summary: There are five stages of grief. Here are five different ways White could react to her loss. post-game, Ferriswheel shipping
1. Isolation and Denial

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.

* * *

><p><em>Once upon a time, people say in hushed tones, a heroine arose.<em> A simple girl from the country, she had an almost magical connection with pokemon. So when she left on her pokemon journey she took Unova by storm. But her journey would not be easy, because along the way she found that she was the heroine of legend, come to fight for the truth and save Unova from the evil Team Plasma's goal of separating humans and their pokemon. So she worked and worked to be strong enough to save the world, to defeat Team Plasma's king, N. And she did.

But there was one problem.

She fell in love with him.

And when she won, his father disowned him and revealed that the king had been no more than a pawn. The heroine beat this man as well, her Reshiram by her side.

But N's world was shattered, so though the heroine pleaded, he left her to find himself, telling her to follow her dreams.

But the young king forgot to take one thing into account.

According to the legend of the dragons, the beasts were forever linked, two halves of one whole. When the heroine and the king were accepted by the legendaries, they became forever linked as well, unable to survive without one another.

So the heroine stopped living, watching and waiting in the remains of his castle for him to return.

And when the League dismantled the castle, as it was surrounding the Elite Four, she waited at Dragonspiral Tower. For years and years she stood or sat, looking off into the distance, peering at the horizon, waiting for a spot of black or the crackle of blue electricity.

Nothing her friends or family said got through to her, either; she didn't even seem to hear them. The heroine's mother hired a detective, Looker, to find N, to get her daughter back to normal.

About three months later, he found a small, strange tan cube washed up on the beach at Route 13.

She still didn't hear.

And she continued to watch the horizon from the tower until she died peacefully, looking for black.

_Once upon a time, people say, a heroine rose and fell in the blink of an eye, and was buried with a cube._


	2. Anger

As White saw the black dragon charge up blue and shoot over the horizon, she was silent.

She swallowed.

She turned sideways, putting a hand to her head.

And she fainted.

She woke up back in her room in Numeva Town. She flailed her limbs, surprised by her location, but then she slowly remembered what had happened. N…N was gone.

And the thought hit her like a punch to the gut, tears starting to roll down her face. But her mother had heard her wake up, and called "White, honey, there's someone here to-"

"Leave me alone!" White cried. Her mother, standing outside of her daughter's room, backed off with a hurt look on her face. White continued to sob angry tears as her mother apologized to the strange detective sitting in the main room and advised him to come back later.

She approached White's room again. "Honey… what's wrong?"

White had stood up, and was trying to pack her bags, her hair still a matted mess and her pajamas on. She looked at her mother with half crazed eyes, and still crying, said "He's gone."

"Who's gone?" her mother asked, puzzled.

"N!" White cried, exasperated.

White's mother still was trying to get a handle on things. "But wait, wasn't he the king of Team Plasma? Isn't he who you just defeated?"

She paused.

"Isn't he evil?"

"_It wasn't his fault!"_

Mother and daughter stared at each other, neither understanding the other at all.

"Mom, something happened back there… I can't live without him. I think I love him, but it's even more than that… I'll die if I stay."

Flustered, her mother tried one last time to convince White to stay.

"But honey…how long have you even known him? Don't throw your life away!" she pleaded.

White turned to face her mother.

"How did you feel when Dad left?"

White's mother sat down, hard, on the bed, as White ran out of the house.

"Goodbye," she whispered to her house and its single resident.

"Reshiram, fly."

And she was gone.


	3. Bargaining

I know I don't always remember to thank my reviewers enough, but I love you guys. Thanks so much for taking your time to provide me with much needed criticism. Thanks again and enjoy! :)

* * *

><p>White was never very religious. As a region Unova wasn't either, the only legend being that of the dragons, and that a distant one, not oft talked about. White was more of a girl of action, one who wanted to decide her own fate. If a god decided to smile down upon her once in a while, the better for her.<p>

But when she found out she was the heroine of legend, that changed a bit. Though she still chose her own fate, she knew that the legends were true, the beasts real. And then she caught Reshiram.

But White still had no real god. After all, how are you supposed to pray to a beast caught inside a ball lying two feet away?

The difference was, now she needed one.

_Dear,um… well, Cynthia prays to a god named Arceus, doesn't she? Dear Arceus…I know I'm not very religious, but I promise to you that I will pray every day if you give me one thing._

White swallowed and looked up, nervously. She was awkwardly kneeling next to her bed and feeling self-conscious.

_Please let N come back to me. I want him to find his purpose, but I need him. He needs me- please. I will do whatever you want, as long as he can come back. _By this point, White was trying to hold back tears.

_Cynthia says you created the world, Sinnoh at least. This is a small thing, just please. _

_Bring him home._


	4. Depression

As this is the next to last chapter, please continue to R & R and check out my profile for more stories you might be interested in. Thanks! :)

* * *

><p>White was finally home, finally back where she belonged. But her mother couldn't help but notice something was wrong.<p>

So when Looker came and asked White to look for the Seven Sages and White immediately accepted, her mother looked into her eyes, expecting to see some of the life and love she knew so well come back to stay. But there was nothing but coldness and rainy days in her daughter's eyes.

White declared she would head first to Castelia City, and Looker nodded in approval, but her mother had to fight to bite back disgust. This, this girl with bloodlust and revenge in her face was not her daughter.

So she sent Cheren and Bianca with her.

The trio set out the next morning, concern written on Bianca's face, thoughtfulness on Cheren's and only a ruthless determination on White's.

They reached Castelia two days later. Cheren and Bianca now understood White's mother's concern: White was acting very cold.

But by the fountain in the heart of the city, White stopped. The bustling crowds pushed her around and people screamed at her but for a moment, she stopped and stared.

And all of her walls fell down.

"N! N!" she started screaming hysterically at a green haired man a few feet in front of her.

Bianca and Cheren exchanged a look and then ran to comfort her, to calm her down.

But by the time they reached her, the man had turned around, looking for the source of the commotion.

He didn't look anything like N.

White's face crumpled and she started sobbing, her cries racking her whole body. In the center of everything there, White curled into a ball on the hard, cold cobblestones and wailed.

Bianca nervously tried to push the curious crowds back while Cheren tried to comfort the girl, but she didn't hear, instead snapping at the boy and curling back up.

So as the crowds passed and thinned, White stayed there, her friends as sentinels. Finally, her crying ceased and she fell asleep, and Cheren was able to carry her to Pokemon Center where the friends could stay the night.

And the next morning, White stood up shakily and smiled weakly at her friends.

"I'm fine," she said, straightening her shorts and shirt, and they set off for Nacrene City.

But White never really left that plaza.

And even though the light returned to White's eyes on occasion, her mother could always see the walls and the girl crying behind them.


	5. Acceptance

Well, this is the end! I hope you've enjoyed it, and I should be posting more White/N soon! Thanks for reading!

* * *

><p>The little girl looked so much like her father, White thought. So much like her father, yet her mother could be seen in her smile- Bianca's dimples graced her face quite frequently. White sat back in her chair as the little girl in question bounced over to her, black hair bouncing.<p>

"Look what I can do! Are you watching, Aunt White? Look at me!"

White smiled and watched as the girl danced around the room, finishing with a poorly done but enthusiastic cartwheel. So much more like Bianca than Cheren in personality, too, she thought, clapping.

And it was then that Bianca came crashing through White's door.

"Sorry we're late! Thanks so much for watching Emmy for us!"

"I told you we should have left sooner," Cheren said, a small smile on his face at his wife's antics.

"Honestly, Bianca, how long have we known each other? I expected you'd be late," White said with a smile. "How about you two stay for awhile? It's only eight."

So the pair settled down into a sofa and the three adults started to talk and joke, laughing at Emmy's antics and reminiscing about old times.

But the topic soon came to Bianca and Cheren.

"I remember the day that I finally got him to confess that he liked you," White said, laughing. "He was as red as a darmitan!"

"It was even worse when he proposed!" Bianca said, taking her husband's hand. "But that's one of the reasons I love him," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

Emmy, who had been watching the conversation with interest, piped up. "Aunt White, do you love anyone?"

The room suddenly turned cold, and Bianca started to chastise the child.

"Honey-"

"No, it's alright," White said quietly.

She turned to the child.

"Yes, I do love someone, Emmy. I've loved him almost as long as your mommy has loved your daddy."

"Then where is he? Aren't you two married?" Her little nose wrinkled in confusion.

"No, we're not married." White thought for a second. The girl didn't know that she was the heroine of legend yet. Someday she'd figure it out, but White liked her past to stay in the past. For the most part, at least.

"A long, long time ago, we didn't like each other very much," she started. "We had different goals. But then something clicked, and we fell in love."

White paused.

"But we still had to fight each other, because what we were fighting about was bigger than us, or our feelings. And I won."

Bianca looked at her friend with pity, and Cheren held his wife's hand comfortingly.

"So he had to leave. He had to find a new purpose." White's eyes were glistening with tears at this point, but she blinked them away. The child reached out to take her hand.

"But you know what? I know that when he finds his purpose, he'll come back. And I still love him, and I still miss him. But I'm not wasting away. I'm living my life- it's just that I'm leaving a place for him in it."

The girl nodded, and Cheren delicately shifted the conversation back to another topic.

The evening passed wonderfully from there, but every so often, Bianca would catch White with a faraway look in her eyes. And when the family got up and prepared to leave, White took the little girl and put her hands on her shoulders.

"Can you promise me something?" she asked.

The girl nodded.

"If you ever see a young man with long green hair who loves pokemon on your travels, tell him White is waiting for him."

The girl nodded again and skipped off to join her parents down the path.

As soon as White couldn't see the family anymore, she slipped out her house. She walked out under the stars and looked up for a brief moment. Her lips formed the words "I love you" but no sound came out, and she blew a kiss to the sky. She went back in her house, taking a long look back before shutting the door and going to bed.


End file.
